The Face of Death

So I am sitting in my office at the hospital tonight when our pharmacy intern burst in saying "we have a patient who cannot breathe!" I run around to the patient area and there is a young Honduran female gasping for breathe. One of her family members hands us a packet which is marked with large letters--"Poison." About that time one of our Honduran doctors arrives and looks at the pack. It normally holds three pills. It is some type of pesticide and is a neuro toxin. He looks at me, gives a little shake of his head, a little shrug of his shoulders and says very matter of fact "she is going to die, there is nothing we can do." In my head I am screaming "we must do something, start an IV, give an antidote, dialyze her." As if reading my mind he says to start an IV. We do and run in one liter of IV fluid. He then puts an NG tube down her throat and flushes some saline into her stomach to try and wash any remaining poison out.

The doctor asks her how many pills she swallowed. She responds "two." The doctor looks at me and says one is enough to kill her, with two there is no question she is going to die. Again my head is screaming at me. I ask "can we send her to tegucigalpa?" He says "no, it would do no good. There is no treatment or cure for this poison. Many girls commit suicide with it." I ask some of her family about her. She is 24 and married, her husband is here at the hospital. They have a 6 year old son. She has some history of depression and has been arguing lately with her mother. She took the pills one hour ago.

She is young and healthy and we all want to know "why." The doctor and one of the male nurses ask her repeatedly why she took the pills. They, too, want to know why, even though she is going to die even if they find out the answer, so why ask? Well because it is hard, I mean it is really hard, to see a young healthy person throw their life away leaving a 6 year old son and husband behind.

Then doctor and nurse did the only thing left to do. They asked about her spiritual life. She did not have one. They explained the love of Christ and that he can and will forgive her sins. They then led her in a prayer of salvation. Basically, they held out to her a ticket to the Kingdom of God, paid for by Jesus Christ, and hopefully, I believe she took it.

So we ran in one liter of IV fluid, lavage her stomach and then left her alone with her family on the stretcher. The family decided to take her home to die. Again, my mind is screaming at me,
"surely there is something we can do, something we can do, something we can do." The doctor once again tells me, "with this poison there is nothing we can do. It is just a matter of time, 2-4-6 hours and she will be dead. The family left with her. I do not yet know the final outcome.

But it occurred to me we did do something, we offered her the love and forgiveness of Jesus Christ, I believe and hope she accepted it and if indeed she does die tonight, she will be present with the LORD.

So, I find that there are some things that I hate (even though we are not supposed to hate):

I hate poverty
I hate depression
I hate not being able to help someone physically who is young and healthy and is dying right in front of my eyes.

But there many things that I love:

I love God the Father, Jesus Christ, The Holy Spirit.
I love my family, my wife, children, and extended family
I love being able to help people in need.

Dear God,

grant me the compassion to hurt when other people hurt, to love the down trodden, to cherish my family, and to worship and glorify You in all I do.

AMEN