You Know You're the Mom of a Bunch of Kids When. . .

1. You know that a grilled cheese sandwich made in a sandwich maker can be "inflated" if a hole in the bread is discovered and properly blown into.

2. You know that two year old little sisters learn with lightning speed and precision how to lock an outside door that a big brother exits, and then manage disappearing acts that would put magicians to shame. They are given away by their giggles.

3. You know the minute differences between rhinoceros beetles and stag beetles.

4. You used to delight in baiting fish hooks for your little boys who are now big, but since the necessity has passed as they have grown and taken over that role for their younger siblings, so has your desire to bait fish hooks.

5. You know that big boys who don't care a thing about personal hygiene all of a sudden never forget their deodorant after getting chafed while working outside on the first 95 degree day of a hot South Carolina summer.

6. You know that you can radically change your teenagers' musical interests by casually mentioning that you like that song they're listening to.

7. You know you will mortally embarrass your older children if you sing Kirk Franklin gospel/rap/hiphop songs along with your iPod at the top of your lungs while on the treadmill.

8. You know to buy the cheap rafts and floaties at Walmart--they will all get popped anyway as the children jump from the diving board onto them.

9. All the noise is music to your ears. . .